first … three beautiful poems by Rumi (13th century):

… and the lovely «May you be blessed»:

Ahhhh …

Tonight this dervish shall

embrace the Wine Seller,

and dance

in the flames of drunkenness

with my Lover.

qaddasa Allahu sirrahu …

I too smell the perfume, Master,

and I am not far behind you.

We shall soon kneel together

within the joyous breaths

of ecstatic sleep.

alif … dal … mim …

Verily, I am … Adam.

i am but a liar,

my Lover.

i promise to stay,

but you know i

will often forsake You.

i swear to friends and family

that i will bid them “farewell”,

but i will steal my way back to you

in silence, My Beloved …

like a thief in the night.

i can sense the sweet Essence

of My Beloved long before

i reach His embrace.

there is no room for

anything but our love,

and time is both

nonexistent and eternal.

i am drunk with

infatuation for you,

my Lover.

i pray that tonight

will be the night

that never ends.

last night, My Beloved

took me to the cinema.

he showed me an action film

where i was the main character.

against insurmountable odds,

i miraculously conquered the relentless

huntress Mortality, and

survived to meet yet another day.

early this morning,

My Beloved and i

sat together and rejoiced

over the divinity of the human process.

and — at this moment — i humbly embrace

the Mystery of a new dawn.

i am not a man, and

i am not a woman.

i am not gay, straight or bi;

i am neither meek nor strong,

and my skin is colorless.

i am but the wind blowing gently

through the tresses of My Beloved …

aspiring to become the simple caress

of divine essence: the breath

of Oneness.

lost in the assertion that

there is no god but God,

the drunken darwish is

rendered ecstatic by the

soma of perfection …

“La ‘ilaha ‘illa-llah …

‘illa-llah … Allah!” …

thus, through the magic of Dhikr,

does the Serpent

unite with the Regenerative Spirit

and transgress the mundane.

the secrets of the

unwritten runes within

the eye of the triangle

are deciphered solely through

meditations of the heart;

and the rays of initiation

illumine the paths

of those led by

nothing more than

the promise of Salt.

Ishq Allah, Ma ‘bud Allah!

my qualifications as a Sufi are tested

at each and every moment.

call me instead: a madman of God.

I am off to a party

with My Beloved!

Virus has insisted upon

tagging along, and he

will surely invite his

sordid friends

Life and Death;

but My Beloved and I

will be lost in our own

private celebration

in the Wine Cellar,

and we cannot

be distracted.

This happy darwish

shall whirl and dance

in ecstasy — for an

eternal night of Love.

when the illusions

(Life, Death, Virus) fall away —

then, My Beloved!

a lifetime of seeking to expose

the veil behind the veil

has not led me any closer

to cognitive understanding

of the rawness of life,

the mysteries of the universe,

or the whimsical journeys

of incarnated souls.

while i truly cannot believe

in that which i cannot see,

i am learning that true vision

has little to do with my eyes.

the Essence of God is

permanently engraved into

my heart: Allahu!

it is there that i sit,

together with My Beloved:

smiling and holding hands

while the bombs of fear, greed,

selfishness, egotism, anger, virus,

hatred, apathy and war-making

continuously explode …

all around us.

and i sing my only prayer, over

and over again, while tears

of joy stream down my cheeks:

“La ‘ilaha ‘illa-llah …

‘illa-llah … Allah!” …

when i one day

return to My Beloved

it will not be with

bitterness in my heart,

but with humbleness for

the extraordinary learning

this life has afforded me.

i have far fewer answers

than i had before

my life with the virus,

but the wealth of new

questions i have learned

to pose gives me a richer

understanding of Enlightenment.

Excerpted from JISEI

Allah hu …

Update – 2024:

I am blessed with many psychic abilities and contact with beings that many do not see around us. That does not make me a perfect human, but it affects how I see myself, others and Life. Three months ago, exactly thirty years after AIDS infection, I received six new diagnoses and infections. Here are my thoughts:

“I took too much InterLife energy and remembrance with me into this soul incarnation. My thought was to intensify my soul learning experiences. But regardless of my ESP, active contact with my Soul family and Spirit guides, contact with the dead and other interdimensional beings, and my brethren in the angelic Order of Michael, and recollection of past lives and their learning, a «fallen Angel» must still go through the school of the «aspiring ape» … or in my case, the Bear. I resisted being pushed out of the womb, and have always longed to return Home. Thus I have met and been tested by Death countless times. But my only allegiance is to my Soul Contract, and I am constantly reminded of «my job» and the fruitlessness of resisting or even demanding to see the contract. The life stories that I create, my life achievements, disappointments, joys, bucket list etc. are of little importance. I was alarmed when the Reaper reappeared three months ago — in the same «form» as when I was confronted 30 years ago by him with accepting AIDS as part of my soul contract. I had known for several years that 2023-2024 would be a difficult period for the planet/universe, and that a new «assignment» would be presented. The sudden reappearance of the Reaper (an interdimensional entity in human form) signalled confirmation of learning to date plus new tests of the same questions. Not so much acceptance of inevitable human death as acceptance of my own active creation of learning challenges and personal responsibility for all of my experiences. I know very well that both I and others are «used» to help one another learn important Soul development lessons, and that no one is «Evil». That is why I did not exercise anger or revenge against the Reaper three months ago … or the many other «players» in this recent process. By forgiving others I contribute to my own Soul learning and healing. So, although I bitch and moan about the state of the world, humanity, my health; I do love Life’s complications and zaniness precisely because I have created a most challenging incarnation experience. All is going as mandated by contract, and although I occasionally argue with Soul Administration, I am 1000% loyal. I do not overestimate my importance to the world, as my life and death are mere footnotes in a much larger drama and story — where the InterLife and many past lives are occurring simultaneously. Thanks to all for your participation in my Soul learning and development. This is why I have not and cannot write my autobiography: the scope is immeasurable, and truth is always part fiction.”